deChurched to reChurched is a series on about how God brought me back to the church after 15 years of disappointment, frustration and stubbornness. Other posts in this series are: Part 1: Adrift, Part 2: Ajar and Part 3: Aware. This post is the last in this series.
Over those 15 years I had unknowingly allowed a spiritual void carve me out like a winding river carves out the countryside until a deep canyon of sadness was formed.
It became increasingly clear to me as I tried to climb my way out that I had cunningly hid from myself the magnitude of the depth of that void by stuffing myself full with food for far too long.
C. S. Lewis once said, “Mere improvement is not redemption, though redemption always improves people.”
I am so living proof of that.
For years I have tried to knock the weight off with this or that program or method.
It would improve temporarily… but my urge to feed my spiritual needs with physical food demanded to rage on and would eventually break free of whatever program…
And thank the Lord that spiritual hunger never gave up on me… it refused to be ignored.
My heart began to literally ache for God.
When I finally stopped to listen I began to find that my physical struggle with weight was and is far secondary to my primary need to fulfill my spiritual needs.
Oh, I am not perfect, nor do I have all the answers.
But I am so blessed to have a Savior that wants to fulfill those needs.
And as I learn to seek Him first, I find myself far less hungry to hold on to those things that- for those 15 years- ate away at who I really am.
“Everything is possible for him who believes.”
-Mark 9:23
As I dig deeper, I feel myself –the girl I once knew–coming alive again.
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